20 STORIES & A SIXTH SENSE
VIRTUAL TO REAL - THE RELATIONSHIP LIVES ON
#cancer #cancersurvivor #cancerawareness #ayurveda #successstory #story
This was a late summer evening, when it all began, I guess way back in 2005, and from the online connect world of Yahoo Groups and Geocities Pages in those days, or was it Orkut; don't exactly remember now.
Those were my initial days and would quite often be online looking to talk to people, interact and in a way try and sell ideas of online medical consultation in the Ayurvedic world.
I had moved from my first ever job at Baidyanath, Naini to Delhi & NCR and was looking for something good to establish myself.
My own website www.ayushyavarsha.com now discontinued, was then at concept stage.
A shy man of my age had approached me and it took him a few days of chatting, I guess about 3 weeks, to come out and share about his problems.
He was seeking solutions to conventionally believed to be Ayurvedic domains expertise, sexual problems.
As he gradually discussed over the following time, I found he had more psychological issues and gradually with talks his problems began to be eased out.
I had thought this would end, but somehow it developed into something personal. We became friends and quite often discussed many issues personal.
I guess it was 4 years since when he had a relative whose child was suffering from AVITAMINOSIS and we discussed things at length, but sadly we could not save the child.
Years later in 2012 we met for the first time and had lot of exchanges including another sad occurrence in his life, that of the death of his only kid of I guess a few months or an year or so.
Teary eyed, we just shared a glance andoved away from the subject.
This was further followed by various things in his life including his wife's second pregnancy which was a little complicated because of a high thyroid condition.
Things carried on!
The relationship had grown so much into trust that anything and he would share it.
This was 2017, when for the first time the dreaded "C" word made its way into his life.
His mother was struck with "Colon Cancer".
It started with a call and talks about her mother's unwillingness to have proper food. She is also known to have diabetes and high blood pressure.
He related signs and I thought there was something wrong perhaps with liver, could be Jaundice or hepatitis in it's initial stages. Asked for some basic investigations to be done.
All done, a suspicion of gall stones was made and as he discussed possibilities, I suggested the best way out for him was a surgery.
The surgery was performed but even after weeks there was no major relief.
Again the conversation centred around the apprehensions and the next option was go for a CT scan.
There was a doubt that arose.
Things changed from discussions on CT Scan to an MRI and finally a PET Scan.
This was a shocker and unimaginable and unexpected. The dreaded "C" word had struck. It sounded pretty ominous and no one knew how to react.
When asked about options, I had no answers but to follow what the doctors were saying. It was a fresh surgery, and then after that things improved.
The things in his life seemed to stabilize and suddenly it was about 6 months or so, we were discussing his problems again. He was having problems with some constipation and doubt of piles.
Medications were advised but no major relief.
Pain in back and pain not subsiding.
Almost every alternate day, or may be daily and then we decided he should have an MRI or a CT Scan done, as the local doctor may advise.
MRI and then again a PET, and what may sound a cliched, cinematic coincidence, here was himself facing "C" scare.
The mother had a colon cancer and here he was having a colo-rectal cancer involving the sigmoid colon.
Surgery was performed without a delay which followed 13 or 15 cycles of chemotherapy, which I do not remember, but what I do remember is this period of a few months involving both radiotherapy and chemotherapy were an ordeal in itself.
Every cycle, it became a routine.
I would call him, sometimes his wife, and just wish an all the best.
In the evening or next day this would follow the reports after the schedule and I was expected to give an opinion and direction in which it was going.
Nothing but a symbol of trust.
First schedule and second and then third and so on.
The effects of chemotherapy are taxing and one evening I remember he talking about a suicide or something similar.
I sensed he was losing hope.
Then a few days later his wife called and shared the fears and I found a better friend in her who could do what was needed along. I could explain her and she would help me in physically helping him overcome the depressive overtones that were following chemotherapy.
Weeks went on and finally the day came when both the therapies were done in November.
Now he was a survivor along with his mother.
We are still helping him overcome the side effects of chemotherapy.
This is an amazing journey, where I became from being a friend to almost a family member.
What started as a case of psychosexual condition, so common in youth to himself losing his first child, then with difficulty his wife concieving and then, finding cancer survivors also recently pushed me to a point where I encountered a fear; fear of telling him his father's life was approaching it's end, and 6 hours gone, he confirmed the worst fear I had.
His father was no more!
I had seen it come.
I met him recently. At his home. While I felt proud to be a family in a way; for having achieved the trust of his wife, kid and himself, also a strange void of his father's absence who I could only see in a photograph, as I met other members of the family and just left with a smile, and a glint, to see another day.
We even talked today, and the relationship just moves on........
I played roles of an advisor, treating physician, care giver, and confidant and friend. Rare to develop such a relationship over a long distance, but internet made it possible.
Just proud to be a part of the journey of two cancer survivors from the same family, even if it has meant being a care giver and advisor, their love and trust wins my heart forever.....
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